Tweens, Teens, and TikTok
If you are a parent of a tween or teen, TikTok is most likely a part of their daily life whether they are begging for your permission to download it or already spending hours on the app.
For those unfamiliar, TikTok is a social media app that is used to create videos of lip-synching or dancing along with songs that can be shared with friends or the general TikTok community. Many tweens and teens will also follow other creators on TikTok who focus on different topics such as social justice issues, mental health, education, politics, books, movies, and much more.
As a parent deciding if, when, or how to give them access to an app like TikTok can feel overwhelming due to conflicting beliefs around if TikTok positively or negatively impacts the youth. As a child and adolescent therapist, I believe every parent has to make the decision they feel is in their tweens or teens best interest to keep them emotionally and physically safe.
Below are some suggestions I frequently provide parents to help them make an informed decision.
Get TikTok Yourself
This is one of the best suggestions I can make for parents, get yourself an account and spend time exploring what’s there. Learn how to make a post, respond to a post, delete a post, block a user, etc. Learn what the privacy options are for your account and how you as a parent can monitor your youth’s account. Have fun with it, even making a video with your tween/teen! Create a list of content creators related to teen issues or interests that you have reviewed and feel comfortable with; then if you decide to give your tween or teen access you can make some suggestions.
Be Aware of The Pro’s and Con’s
For many tweens and teens TikTok has helped to reduce the stigma of mental health struggles and going to therapy. It has provided them with education about different types of symptoms, treatment options, and how to access help. They feel validated when they hear someone else describe what they are going through and acknowledge how hard it is to overcome the struggle.
Some tweens and teens have reported to me during COVID-19 that they realized therapy was “not bad” and “important” to seek out for help because of certain content creators on TikTok.
The other side of this coin is that there are some legitimate dangers with TikTok. As with any social media there is always the danger of tweens and teens connecting with unsafe people or accessing inappropriate content for their age. Some of these youth will make TikTok their one stop shop for information regarding mental health, physical health, laws, etc. not realizing or understanding that some content creators are providing inaccurate information. There could be an increase in mental health symptoms if they are spending an excessive amount of time on the app possibly due to an increased exposure to the struggle of others that they can relate to.
Social Media/Technology Contract
I encourage all parents to use google to find an example of a contract that works for you or develop your own to meet your specific needs. This is an important document that provides you and your family with a clear statement of limit and expectations as well as consequences for making mistakes. I think it’s important to ensure that the contract lists suicide and other crisis phone numbers and supportive adults they can reach out to if they encounter anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. It’s a great idea to display this contract next to the computer, save a copy onto their phone in a special folder, or hang it on the refrigerator for easy access. Please keep in mind that as parents with growing children the monitoring needs, limits, and expectations may change based on your individual youth.
Resources
TikTok has responded to some of the concerns around keeping youth safe by pointing individuals to local support resources like crisis text helpline if they search for words or phrases like suicide. TikTok also now has a warning label for sensitive content making it so an opt-in viewing screen pops up when a user searches for terms that could bring up distressing content. There are also two guides available for users about well-being and a guide for guardians. Parents, I highly suggest you review both kids with your tweens or teens.
Please comment and share what your experience has been as a parent navigating TikTok or other social media apps. Take care everyone!
Lisa Torres, LMFT #48946
