Supporting Teens in Healthy Relationships: How You Can Make a Difference
February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (TDVAM), a time to shine a light on the often-overlooked issue of dating violence among teens. While many adults may think of dating violence as something that affects only older individuals, the truth is that it can happen to anyone, even teenagers. As someone who interacts with or supports teens—whether you’re a parent, teacher, coach, mentor, or community leader—you play a vital role in helping teens navigate healthy relationships and understand what’s acceptable behavior in a dating relationship.
What Is Teen Dating Violence?
Teen dating violence is any form of physical, emotional, or psychological abuse that takes place in a romantic relationship. It can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, race, or background. But the teen years are particularly formative, and many young people may not yet know how to recognize abuse or set boundaries in relationships.
Teen dating violence can include:
Physical abuse: Hitting, slapping, or pushing.
Emotional abuse: Name-calling, humiliation, constant criticism, or making someone feel worthless.
Psychological abuse: Controlling behavior, jealousy, threatening harm, or isolating the teen from their friends and family.
Sexual abuse: Coercion, pressure, or assault.
Teens may not immediately recognize these behaviors as abuse, especially if they’re told it’s "normal" or "just part of a relationship." This is why it’s so important for adults in their lives to step in, provide guidance, and help them build the tools they need to recognize and avoid toxic relationships.
Signs of Teen Dating Violence
Recognizing the signs of dating violence in teens can be tricky, especially since many teenagers are reluctant to talk about their personal lives. However, there are several warning signs to watch for:
Physical signs of injury: Bruises, cuts, or injuries that a teen can’t clearly explain or seems reluctant to discuss.
Withdrawal or isolation: If a teen starts pulling away from friends, family, or activities they used to enjoy, this could indicate something is wrong.
Changes in mood or behavior: Teens who are normally outgoing may become withdrawn, anxious, or depressed, while others may become angry or hostile.
Low self-esteem: A teen who suddenly seems to lack confidence, apologize excessively, or express feelings of worthlessness may be experiencing emotional abuse.
Controlling behavior: A partner who constantly texts, calls, or pressures a teen to check in or “report” their whereabouts could be displaying controlling behavior.
Avoiding social interactions: A teen may skip school or avoid activities in an attempt to please their partner or avoid conflict.
If you notice these behaviors in a teen, it could be a sign they are in an unhealthy or abusive relationship.
What You Can Do to Help
As a trusted adult, you have the power to make a difference. Here’s how you can support teens in building healthy relationships and prevent dating violence:
1. Talk About Healthy Relationships
It’s important for teens to understand what a healthy relationship looks like. A good relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and communication. Encourage teens to:
Respect each other’s boundaries.
Know that jealousy and controlling behavior are not signs of love.
Communicate openly and honestly with each other.
Understand that equality and mutual respect are the foundation of a healthy relationship.
These discussions are crucial in helping teens understand what’s normal and what’s not in a relationship.
2. Listen Without Judgment
If you suspect a teen is in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, create a safe space for them to talk. Be patient, listen without judgment, and make it clear that you’re there to support them—no matter what. Let them know they aren’t alone, and they have the right to be treated with respect in their relationships.
Here are some ways to approach the conversation:
Ask open-ended questions: “How’s your relationship going? Are you feeling good about it?”
Be empathetic: “It sounds like you’ve been going through a lot. I’m here if you want to talk.”
Reassure them that abuse is never their fault and that they deserve to be safe and respected.
3. Provide Resources
If a teen opens up about experiencing dating violence, it’s important to direct them to the right resources for help. Some options include:
Loveisrespect: A national resource specifically for teens, offering confidential support via text, chat, or phone. Teens can reach out at 1-866-331-9474 or text LOVEIS to 22522.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: Available 24/7 for support and resources. Call 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788.
Break the Cycle: An organization dedicated to preventing dating violence and supporting survivors, providing resources and guidance for teens and their families.
Let them know that there are people and organizations ready to help, no matter what they’re going through.
4. Mental Health Support for Teen Victims
Dating violence can have a serious impact on a teen’s mental health. Victims of abuse may experience anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). As a caring adult, it's important to also recognize the need for emotional and mental health support.
Here are some mental health resources for teens who have experienced dating violence:
The Trevor Project: Provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services for LGBTQ+ teens, including those who have experienced abuse. They offer support via text, chat, and phone at 1-866-488-7386.
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor. This free, confidential service offers emotional support for teens going through tough situations, including those involving relationship abuse.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for free, confidential support. This lifeline is available for those struggling with mental health crises, including those related to abusive relationships.
Teen Line: A peer-to-peer helpline where teens can talk to other teens about mental health concerns, relationship issues, or other challenges. Visit their website for more information and texting options: teenlineonline.org.
Local Counseling Services: Many communities offer free or low-cost counseling services for teens, especially those who have experienced trauma. You can help a teen find a local therapist specializing in adolescent issues, including trauma and abuse recovery.
Encourage teens to seek professional help if they’re struggling emotionally after an abusive relationship. It’s important for them to understand that their feelings are valid, and there is support available to help them heal.
Raising Awareness in Your Community
As we observe Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, it’s important to raise awareness and start conversations about healthy relationships. Here are some simple ways to get involved:
Share Information: Post resources or facts about dating violence on social media to raise awareness and start conversations.
Host a Workshop or Discussion: If you’re part of a school, community center, or youth group, consider hosting a discussion about healthy relationships or dating violence.
Provide Resources: Share phone numbers and websites for crisis support with the teens in your life so they know where to turn for help.
Helping Teens Build a Future of Healthy Relationships
Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month serves as a reminder of the vital role we all play in preventing dating violence and supporting teens in building healthy relationships. By educating teens, being attentive to signs of abuse, and offering a safe space for conversation, we can make a lasting impact on their lives.
Let’s work together to create a world where all teens can experience healthy, loving relationships that are built on respect, equality, and mutual understanding.
Resources:
Loveisrespect: Call 1-866-331-9474 or text LOVEIS to 22522 for confidential support.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788.
Break the Cycle: www.breakthecycle.org
The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
Teen Line: Visit teenlineonline.org
References:
National Domestic Violence Hotline. (2020). Dating violence. https://www.thehotline.org/healthy-relationships/dating-violence
Loveisrespect. (2020). What is dating abuse?. https://www.loveisrespect.org
Break the Cycle. (2020). Understanding dating abuse.https://www.breakthecycle.org
